Quothly Notes

Some examples of "wrong" but creative answers to actual examination questions:


"The Complete Angler" was written by Euclid because he knew all about angles.

Shadows are rays of darkness.

An author is a strange animal because his tales (tails) come from his head.

Two artists were hired to paint murals on opposite walls of a public thoroughfare.  The first artist painted a beautiful scene of city giving way to countryside, day giving way to night, and beautiful vibrant colours throughout.

The second artist simply covered his wall with chrome spray-paint.

The unveiling was well attended.  After suitable ceremony, the curtain to the first wall was drawn back.  The crowd applauded the beautiful scene long and loud.

The curtain to the second wall was drawn back.  A hush fell over the crowd.  It was a blank wall, and no one was sure how to react.

At that very moment, the sun came through the clouds and fell on the first wall.  The 'blank' wall became a cacophonous rainbow as the colors of the wall behind the crowd reflected onto the shining wall of chrome.

The crowd applauded long and loud.

Photo: woman pointing to a crack in her wall by Erick Calonius ca 1973, courtesy U.S. National Archive.

Our story begins with two groups of farmers who work two adjacent fields.  The farms and farmers compete for business but everyone gets along and times are good.

"Times are good," says the great orisha Eshu, "But no one has thanked me!  This must not be!"  He takes the appearance of a traveler on the path between both fields.

"Hello, folks," he says as he passes the group working on the left side.
"Hello, folks," he says as he passes the group working on the right side.

The first group says: "Did you see that man with the cane in the red hat?"
The second group says: "Did you see that man with the cane in the black hat?"

The two groups begin to argue, and the arguments become a fight, and the fight becomes a battle.  Before anyone is hurt, Eshu appears to them wearing his hat, which he waves at them.  One side of the hat is black.  The other side of the hat is red.

The moral of our story: don't believe everything you think, and always say Thank You!

Photo: Ekker Butte in Canyonlands National Park photographed by David Hiser in 1972, courtesy US National Archive.

"Tomorrow's my birthday," she said.

"Then I shall send you a bouquet," he replied cheerfully without hesitation.  "One beautiful rose for each year that you've blessed this earth with your own beauty!"

She smiled in anticipation.

That night he wrote a note to his florist, ordering the delivery of the roses. The florist himself filled the order, and, thinking to improve on it, said to his clerk:

"Here's an order from that fellow I was telling you about, he's really going places, you know!  Roses for tomorrow... he's one of my best customers, I'll throw in ten more for good measure."

The result was most unfortunate.


Photo by Jack Delano ca 1940 or Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Lyman, Polish tobacco farmers near Windsor Locks, Connecticut.

She signed up as the pupil of a great master, but grew disillusioned when, after nine months of practicing and repeating the same song, the master would not let her move on to anything else.  She knew that if she couldn't satisfactorily perform this one song when taught by such a great master for so many months, she would never be a great singer, so she moved to a new city and started life over again as a barista at a coffee-shop.

One day the owner of the coffee-shop decided that an open-mic talent competition would be good for business.  The barista had never spoken of (and had avoided even THINKING of) her time as a singing student and was reluctant to even attend the event as a spectator.  Her boss, however, made it mandatory for all employees to perform as a show of loyalty and to ensnare the curiosity and attendance of regulars.

She thought about quitting.  She searched her mind frantically for any other thing she could do besides sing, but drew a blank.  She spent the last few moments before her performance in the bathroom, wondering how to fake a heart attack or if it were even necessary, since she might possibly have one in truth.

You know what had to happen.  She sang the one song she knew by heart.  She sang it and felt awful and thought about what her life meant, if it meant anything.  When she was done, the crowd was silent for what seemed like an eternity.

Hers was the only act that received a standing ovation.  Her friends cried.  Her boss cried.  Everyone asked what she was doing working in a coffee shop when she should be winning American Idol.

One week later, she returned to the master and thanked him.


Photograph by William Gottlieb of Sarah Vaughan ca. Aug. 1946, courtesy Library of Congress.